From “Schiess All That,” the 2009 musical produced by Assault & Flattery at the University of Texas School of Law.
Summer clerkin’, had me a blast
Summer clerkin’, went by so fast

Met a judge who ruled for me
Met a partner who does IP

Summer days, no work all play
Then uh-oh, those summer nights

Well-a well-a well-a oomph!
Tell me more, tell me more

Man they filled me with booze

Tell me more, tell me more

Took us all on a cruise

Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

Had a Starbucks on the first floor
Venti lattes made us work more

Billing hours; watching the clock
My first paycheck was such a shock

Summer fools, we worked like mules,
but uh-oh those summer nights

Well-a well-a well-a oomph!
Tell me more, tell me more

But you dont gotta brag

Tell me more, tell me more

‘Cause it sounds like a drag

Shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEAH

Wrote a memo, they said its crap
Five mimosas, then got the clap

Deposed a witness; I had no clue!
Really effed up; our client’s screwed

Summer jobs, not qualified
But uh-oh, those summer nights

Woah oh oh

Tell me more, tell me more

Went on weekend retreats

Tell me more, tell me more

Bonded under the sheets!

How debauchrous law firms can be!
Can’t believe that they’re hiring me

We’ll enjoy our last year of class
Cause next year they own my ass

Summer clerks, now we’re 3Ls
A-nd oh, this year will be hell

We’re so screwed, we’re so screwed

Defining IP
The World Intellectual Property Organization defines Intellectual Property as “creations of the mind: inventions, literary and artistic works, and symbols, names, images, and designs used in commerce.”

“creations of the mind: inventions, literary and artistic works, and symbols, names, images, and designs used in commerce”

The most important part of that definition is the word “creations”. Until the invention, literary or artistic work, or symbol, name, image, or design takes some form outside of the creator’s mind it is intangible and, therefore, immaterial. When it is “created” it becomes “property” and may now be promoted and protected. It is the promotion and protection of these creations of the mind that most people associate with the term “Intellectual Property”.

Constitutional Power
The U.S. Constitution specifically enumerates, as a power given to the Legislative Branch, the power to “promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries”. U.S. Const. Art. I, s8, cl8. The Legislature, by enacting various statutes pursuant to this power, created two Federal agencies that deal with Intellectual Property: the United States Copyright Office and the United States Patent and Trademark Office .

In the creation of these two distinct agencies, the Legislature seems to have drawn the distiction from the Constitution itself: “authors” and “inventors” – “writings” and “discoveries”. While technology has surpassed the original understanding of the framers of the Constitution, the intent is certainly evident. The distiction between something that is the fruit of intellectual creativity and that which is new and useful is being blurred by today’s technology (does software fall under the protections of copyright or patent?), but nonetheless, the two agencies stand today.

Defining Ownership
A major distiction between works that fall under copyright and those that fall under patent, or trademark is when ownership is recognized. For copyright, the creator of the work is said to have the rights to the work at the moment of creation. Works subject to patent and trademark protection, however, must be reviewed and accepted by the USPTO to be granted protections.

In the legal world, then, Intellectual Property discussions typically revolve around issues of Patent, Trademark, or Copyright. In one way or another, whatever you create should be considered property that has sprung forth from your intellect. Now, whether that Intellectual Property has value or is eligible for legal protections… that’s another story. (and, yes… that story is also eligible for protections under copyright)